Gypsy's but not Tramps and Thieves
86
I grew up in a normal working class home, and went to school just up the road from where I lived. My mum and dad presumed I would marry a man that was similar to me, and up until the age of twenty I dated men similar to the kind that they approved of. Until one day I turned up at the house with someone that they took one look at and just shook their heads. When he was in the kitchen making a cup of coffee, my mother said to me. You have got to be joking. And my dad just shook his head and said, oh Ena leave her alone, he's probably very nice. My dad was like that, give everyone a chance until proven wrong. My mum on the other hand, was'nt so polite. He looks like a Gypsy, she hissed. I don't know whether she was being insulting or very astute! But yes he was a Gypsy, or Romany as they prefer to be called. I think my mum was remembering the old saying, which was told to us when we were small. If you don't behave I'll give you to the Gypsies. I must have been a very bad girl.
Now you're probably thinking, how did she know what he was? well, he had the looks. I meant dreamy. she meant swarthy and untrustworthy! I meant romantic, she meant lazy and a crook. so as you can see, it did'nt get of to a very good start.
At that age, just turning twenty, I thought i knew it all, and the more my mother said no I said yes, she said leave him, so I went and married him! Neither of us had any money, and much to my mother's shame, when went to live in a caravan on a site, in the next town. Talk about cliche, as my mother so aptly put it, ' you only need the horses and the pegs and you will be well away'.
Actually she was nearly right. The site that we lived on was full off Romany's, but there were a few Gorgies, as they call normal people. In the old days they called us Giorgio's. There weren't any caravans with horse's, the old caravan's were called Vardo's, because this was the eighties not a hundred years ago. But the similarities were still there. Scrap metal was a day to day encounter, men sitting on the steps of the vans, with their hammers and Stanly knifes stripping copper wire, or burning off the rubber and tying up the clean copper. cars and vans delivering brass and iron to be sorted and put in boxes to take to the scrap yard. The women always seemed to wear brightly coloured clothing even though the younger ones wore modern clothes, the older ladies always wore knee length pleated or straight skirts, some with aprons, others with big belts. And the earrings, I have never seen so many big bright hoops and the majority always wore scarfs around the hair. The one thing that absolutely amazed me was their kindness. After we had moved into the caravan, a stream of women would knock on the door with presents for the caravan. Curtains, tablecloths, cups and saucers, bedding even makeup, just to make you feel welcome. When I showed my surprise, they said in a puzzled way, well girl, you are one of us now. As though it was normal for everyone to do this.
The other thing that surprised me was the cleanliness of their caravans. They were spotless. The carpets were bright and clean, very thick pile. Their cups and saucers had gold rims around them, and I was always afraid to go into there vans because i thought I would make them dirty with my shoes!
We were always broke, but it wasn't through lack of trying. Jake my husband looked for jobs everywhere and sometimes worked for months, but at other times he lost his job and we were back to the scrap metal. I did a bit of cleaning, but by now my pride and joy had come along, my son, and I stayed at home and looked after him. At the back of the caravan site was a winding road that led to a village called Owlswick, which led along side a small stream, and because it was a small road there were not many cars along it so to get to the scrapyard there,Jake made a barrow about six feet in length and put two wheels underneath towards the middle. With a couple of handles at the front, we were well away. I sat in the middle, and my son, who was about eighteen months old by this time, sat at the front and Jake pushed us all the way to Owlswick, surrounded by a ton of scrap metal! Ah, those were the days!
I remember one time we went there, I met a gypsy woman who pulled into the car park, and came over to us. I didn't know her, but she had the gypsylooks. Dark skin and long black curly hair, earrings jangling around her ears. 'well dawdy' she said, was you doing here with a chavi in a barrow then? she said. chavi?, oh I thought, she means a baby. It takes a while to understand the accent, the only way I can describe it is like skimming a stone across water. The words seem to jump and not quite touch the ground.
Anyway, I told her what we were doing and she said, Well, you come a me, and I see what I got in me boot o me car,' so I followed her and she opened the back. Reaching in, she pulled out about three bags of brand new baby clothes, and handed them to me. That's for da sprog, and I won't take no for an answer, we's has to look after our own' she said, giving me the biggest smile, and with a wave, got back in the car, and drove away. I was astounded and humbled. When Jake came back i told him what had happened. He just looked at me and said, Yeah well that's what we do' and smiled. Every year when the fairground came to town, we would get dressed up in our finest and take my boy along to see what was going on. We never paid a penny, because it was run but gypsies and there is a knowledge of who belongs to the community. The men are all friends and even when they don't know each other, after ten minutes of talking the find out that Ben knows Fred and Joe is related to Jon, by marriage or cousins once removed! and that's it everything is automatically free. My son went on all the rides, got free candy and had a whale of a time.
The only time I felt scared was when we went to visit Jake's aunt Janie, we drove out into the countryside and instead of turning left, we turned right by mistake. Going into what we thought was the proper Romany site, we found that we had made a mistake and gone into the diddicoy one, as Jake called it. We heard shouting and dogs barking, and looking out of the window I saw two men approach us with shotguns. I was terrified. But Jake rolled down the window and spoke to them. Their faces were ugly with anger, until he told them that he wanted the other site, spoke to them in Romany, and English slang, and then to my relief, the anger turned to smiles, the guns went down, and they yelled at the dogs to be quiet. They then pointed out the right road, and we headed off, much relieved. As we drove away, i looked back and saw a horse box with a window high up in the side, children were playing and a little girl was staring at me with her fingers in her mouth. She was filthy, with no shoes and a skimpy dress, even though it was winter. I couldn't believe the difference. Jake told me that they were only part gypsies, but mainly gorgie, who chose to live this way because they didn't quite fit into the main gypsy way of life. When we reached aunt Janie's caravan, it was like walking into a small compact palace. I had learned something that day. If we had been gorgie's, what would have happened i wondered. I shall never know.
We had to move when my son was two years old as the van wasn't big enough for us. so we went back to being house dwellers as they called it. I couldn't get used to it, bricks and mortar made me feel claustrophobic, and the people were normal, everyday people. Oh, don't get me wrong, they were very nice, but I missed the communal friendliness of the Romany's, the laughter and in jokes, the generous nature, and most of all there was never any bitchiness. If they didn't like someone, they wouldn't say oh keep away from her or him, they would just smile and say' well now i is akeeping away from her, but yous can make up your own mind now, an' anyway, thems not all bad, my dear'
it's twenty years now I have been a house dweller again, but if I see a gypsy woman selling heather in the street, i will never pass by without giving her some money for a sprig, and I always take time to stop and have a chat. I sometimes get odd looks, but i smile a secret smile and think to myself, I know the truth, i know what you've been missing. you see a gypsy selling heather, being a nuisance, not even talking intelligently with a posh accent. I see a lovely kind hearted lady with a touching smile, grinning at me with pleasure, because I am giving her something she doesn't get very often. A bit of respect. But i know the secret you see, so I'll let the gorgies get on with there life, in ignorance of these wonderful people i had the privilege to meet.
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Fingersmith Jake! (lightfingered, chaw, or thieving, you decide!)
- Gypsies, but sometimes Thieves! (But only Funny things!)
I was looking back and smiling to myself at some of the things we used to get up to. We were always broke and looking for a way to make some money. But some of the things we go involved in were not only...
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Hello my friend Nell, this is a beautiful story with a lot of emotions, I love the way your mum is:) I am sure she is a lovely lady.:)and your dady well, is the reel gentleman:) I wish I had the experience of living in a caravan with my husband.:) In your story I feel that happiness come before money, I am very much like you, money its important ok, but enjoying the little things in life, for me that come first. The gypsys are lovely pepoles and they look after each others a lot.They have understand the importance of live. Thank you so much for for sharing this beautiful memories. God Bless you my friend. Best wishes to your lovely family.:)
I am so sorry for my English, too much mistakes, sorry.
The Roma call outsiders "Gadje". The ones here in America are usually Kalderash or Muchwaya. Another group, the Kuneshti, are considered less pure by other Roma. They still practice arranged marriages, have their own legal system called a "Kris", and usually do not stay in school. A term central to their culture is "Marime", which is a kind of contamination associated with the Gadje. The women are primarily involved in fortune telling. The right to practice fortune telling in a particular town or territory is regulated, and these rights are bought and sold like property--except in the case of towns that are 'open'. Men typicall deal in used cars and RV's, and scrap metal. Some of them are scam artists, but they are wrongly stereotyped based on the ones that are involved in illegal activity. Many of them feel their culture is becoming less strict and the traditions are fading. The men tend to dress flashy, and they like their jewelry and nice cars. Weddings are huge affairs. They rent banquet halls for days at a time, and the cost of marrying a Roma girl involves a dowery and enormous expense. The women are quite beautiful, generally. They tend to look mediterranean, although they are originally from regions of what is now northern India. Some of them have embraced evangelical Christianity in the last decades. They have a huge amount of superstition and myriad rituals surrounding cleanliness. They are organized by Familia and Veesta, which is a group of extended families. Their names are often very mainstream, and they prefer not to be known as Gypsies and often say they are Greek or some other ethnicity. The do not find the term "Gypsy" offensive, however. They never marry outside the culture, and to mix with the Gadje is a kind of social death involving permanent separation from family and children, and the culture. They speak Romany, but mix it with English in most settings, except when tradition dictates otherwise (weddings, funerals, formal hearings, etc.)
Fascinating account of life with the Gypsys. I enjoyed reading your story very much. Thank you for sharing it.
thanks for sharing so nice to read something so original....
A great story Nell. I really enjoyed it. Almost burnt supper, didn't want to stop till I had read it all.
I enjoyed your story very much. Thanks for letting us peek into your experiences. No matter who it is, everyone has something to share and that is fascinating to me. Thanks!
Nell what a fascinating start into adulthood. Has your Mom come to terms with your choices? Tell us more...
great hub
kindest regards Zsuzsy
I enjoyed this very much. I wish most people were as you are describing them. I feel like most of us have out-smarted ourselves.
That sounds like heaven, it sounds like you landed on a different planet compared to what I've seen, me, me, me and to hell with you. (Not me, of course. I try to help others as much as I can). If I ever go homeless again, how do I find that place? LOL
What a great hub. It does sound like a tough life but it also sounds like you enjoyed it.
Your hub was suggested to be on my blog and it is now.
You can find the link to my blog in my profile. I hope eventually when the blog becomes very popular your Hub gets a lot of traffic.
Cheers
Dale
Wow! This is a wonderful hub, Nell.
I appreciate your descriptions, and your unique point of view. You are able to explain one culture to the other without judgement - a foot in both worlds. :) That is beautiful.
I'm glad I read this hub - it is a gem. Thanks.
That is a wonderful story of the 'other' people - keep writing this kind of story...
Dear Nell, I really enjoyed your tale. As a child I always wanted to live in a Gypsy caravan, especially after my mom read me Roald Dahl's "Danny the Champion of the World" (one of the most magical and beautiful books ever). Also, I am reminded of the tale; "The Wind and the Willows" (another magickal story). When Mr. Toad convinced Ratty and Mole to go on an adventure in his newly aquired Gypsy caravan w/ him. I love thier horses too. What kind of horse is that? They look like clydesdales (sp?). Except shorter and stocky. I know no Gypsy's, but I would sure like to. I did meet an Italian witch, who used regular playing cards, instead of the Qabbalah based Tarot, to read my fortune (back in the old days), and she said that she was taught how to divine in this manner from Gypsys. She was completely accurate. This is a story that I intend to write about one of these days, because it was so amazing. But for now my cup is full. Thank you again Nell. - Joshua,
a few years back when we feared (and finally lost) losing our house, I discovered vardos (on the internet)and I told my husband I wanted to live in one. Sometimes life gets so full of stuff, and I just wanted to have a simpler life.
Wow, what a great stoy Nell. I'll be back for more. Oh, thanks for stopping by my hubs.
I think different horses have different habits.
Some horses are easy-going and some are not.
so I want to know what kind of behavior or habits does a horse have..
Thanks for letting us peek into your experiences.I really appreciate it. I will try and keep finding stories about this time, and put them together for a story.
Yes, really beautiful story. Now I will listen to the song real quick so I can move on...can't pass up Cher. Great hub!
I enjoyed your this hub very much. In some ways, I am of late living some of the same circumstances you describe. I'm learning more about scrap metal than I ever thought I'd know or care!
I recently watched a TV programme about Romani/gypsy weddings it was very interesting to see. Your writing here backs up the impression of how strong the community spirit is. Thanks Nell.
very interesting story, Nell. I never experienced anything similar, but have a niece in New Mexico who did. She traveled with rainbow gatherings all over he country, and married a homeless guy, had two kids, but divorced him later. She is the daughter of my Florida family, with quite a bit of money, so it was pretty unacceptable in her family group. Anyway, good story, and all I could think of was my niece living on the New Mexico Masa. (: v
Thank you so much for your story. I think I must have been a Gypsy in a past life because I have always felt a connection and empathy for them. Their way to life seems wonderful to me. Thanks for showing the loving giving side of Romanys. I knew it to be true, but love the confirmation. Namaste
Nell, I love this part:
" I meant dreamy. she meant swarthy and untrustworthy!"
lol
There was no way I was leaving this hub 'til I finished reading after THAT.
This is a fascinating story for us and a great personal experience for you. Years ago I saw a very interesting and informative documentary about the migration of gypsies from India and the way they influenced, especially through music and dance, the cultures of other countries in Europe.
The stereotype of gypsies as being thieves and lazy people – is just that; a poor understanding of a culture and a narrow-minded way of looking at them from a perspective that values a unique and very human way of life.
Thank you for this great hub.
Hi nell thank you for your story it brought back moorises of my granfather he was a the hoses that they are so well know for and that kinds you still see it among them today there way of live is so speacial some needs to let the thurth be know about a goup of people that belong to this world as anyone relly intresting thank you.
I always feel fascinating by gipsy. their colourful clothes always fun to watch. And some of them look really beautiful in it.
This beautiful story, Nell. Like always. Your life really not an ordinary one.
Just came over to say hi. Hi!
LOL, I tell my niece that all the time. If you don't behave, I am giving you the gypsies. I have called them on the phone before :P So your lead up to this title in your profile definitely made me laugh. What an enlightening hub, I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Great Hub, I really enjoyed reading your story. And I love the Cher Song, one of my favorites.
Nell, I just came across this hub and read it. What a delightful read! When I was a little girl I so wanted to be a gypsy and travel in those vans. You brought back some lovely memories for me. You sure must have some wonderful and loving memories.
Nell , this is so interesting , we need more of these stories , tell us more......
Nell, but don't jypsy girls just make up stories? I thought that's how you trapped you men! He He.....
Thanks for sharing amazing piece of your life...
Oh....I SO much enjoyed this hub! What a fabulous read for the night. Thanks!
I really liked this hub. Thank you for sharing it.
Hi Nell,
I can't believe that I had missed this one out. What a brilliant hub. I can almost see you living so freely with these people for whom I have the greatest of respect.
I am bookmarking this one as one one of my favourites plus an awseome and up.
Before I go on anywhere else I am going to check to see many more of yours I have missed out on.
Take care Nell.
Hi Nell, when you and your husband made a wrong turn and met the diddicoy, weilding guns, that must of have been a real unnerving moment. You certainly have experienced a lot of unique culture.
Very cool hub, I've learned more and more about real gypsies in Europe this year. I love stories of other cultures and clans. Great writing! Namaste'.
Hello Nell,
What a fabulous story. You really are a great writer. I really enjoyed it. Wish people weren't so bloody minded about the Romany. My best friend, the one with the posh Oxford accent used to teach some Gypsy kids when she was a teacher, and she said she always envied their closeness.
Wow gypsies sound very cool. Loving and kind comes to mind. You describe their way of life so tenderly. Thanks
Thanks for sharing your story. You write so honestly and this makes your story feel alive. I wanted to read more and I will read more of your stuff.
Voted up , awesome and beautiful , I loved your story ! I was on your iincredible journey , its always quite an experiance to get to know and understand other cultures , and i think that living others ways opens doors for a better future for everyone . thank you for this read ! an incredible enjoyment :)
Absolutely splendid article!! I never knew much about gypsies (except for the aforementioned voluptuous woman or the crone over a crystal ball :)), but have gained immeasurable insight into their lives, via your writing. I plan on coming back and reading each and every sub-hub you have within this one...NICE
I have always been fascinated by the gypsy culture, but have never met anyone closer than you. I truly enjoyed your story.What wonderful memories you must have.



















































Hello, hello, 2 years ago
That was a lovely story and I thank you for writing and sharing it. I love the real Gypsy and know the different byt I never lived with them. Just wanting to know I heared from people about the difference and also you can see it when you drive past. Unfortunately, these people gave the Gypsies a bad reputation.