20 Ways On How To Stop Your Partner Watching The World Cup Football!

Oh ye Gods its that time of year again! The Football World Cup!

Out comes the curry and beer, there are tons of dirty plates all over the house.

All you can hear is grunting from the front room with occasional bouts of Yeah, and 'Oh for gods sake kick the darn ball you stupid.....!'

Swiftly followed by the sound of male voices burping laughing and just well, slobbing!

So, what do you do? Carry on with a smile on your face, and constantly top the guys up with copious amounts of coffee, and food?

Or give the guys a flirty look just to let them know that actually there is a woman in the room, and she's not there just to serve you?

Well, if this is you, then take note. There are quite a lot of things you can do to stop them in their tracks! Ah ha! lets go get em girls!

• Hide the remote control for the TV. Make sure you do it at least the night before the match so they won't think its you being, well ya know.
• He's got all the beer in ready for his friends to arrive. So, when he goes out invite all the girls round for a beer party! Yep! And make sure they all drink at least three cans each so by the time he gets back 20 women are face down on the grass totally inebriated and having a great time!
• Offer to dog sit for all your friends. All in one go! Have you ever seen a guy watching TV with five great Danes slobbering all over him? Nah didn't think so!
• Sabotage the electricity. Make sure it works when he goes to pick up his friends, but by the time he comes back he finds you stood there with lots of wires in your hand and a please help me smile on your face!
• Flood the bathroom. That will do it. They can't watch TV if there is water all over the house! Just make sure you move all your good stuff first!
• Invite all your friends round for a Lingerie party! With a bit of luck the guys will forget all about the football and want to sit and watch the women checking out the undies!
• Dig a hole in your front garden, right by the door. Guaranteed to bring one guy down on his knees, hopefully with a broken leg so all the others have to get him to the hospital!
• Spray fertiliser all over your front garden. Make sure all the doors and windows are open so the smell wafts into the said front room! Nothing like the smell of poo to put them off footie!
• Invite all the neighbors round for a barbecue. make sure you get all the older ladies to keep popping into the front room to ask, 'Who's that playing dear? What's his name? Oh he looks like my nephew, did you know he is in the Amazon jungle at the moment? Move over i will tell you all about it......!
• De flea your dog, make sure you get lots of lovely fleas and place them around the room. Especially on the couch where they are all sitting. Then sit back and watch through the window. Hours of fun can be had with this one!
• Get one of the wives to phone up her hubby midway through the match and say that the police are at her door with descriptions of all his friends, something about a robbery?! Guaranteed to clear a house in 10 seconds flat!
• Make sure you and all the girls are sitting watching a rom com on tv when its time for the match to start. Watch the guys squirm when we all squeal 'Cameron Diaz is sooo good in this isn't she? Oh and that guy is such a hottie!
• Clean your carpet! make sure its soaking wet, smells like the dog, and really needs to 'air' for at least three hours!
• Make sure they know you are having a bath or shower, wait till the football starts then scream at the top of your voice 'MOUSE! EEEEEEK'! Then give points to whoever gets there first, cos there will be a stampede!
• innocently walk through the room in front of the tv and say, 'Hiya tom, is your ex wife still seeing John? (sitting next to him)! Then walk out. Just for fun count out how long it takes for the punch up to start!
• Last but not least? Tell them that the match was actually two hours ago, and the results are........! Well you get the point! Then sit back and watch them cry! Hee Hee!

So there you go. And If you can think of any more great ideas please do let me know. Before I strangle anyone else who mentions the darn football!

Oh and I forgot to say? Don't forget to give them that curry. And lots of lovely yummy chocolate flavored laxative in their beers or coffee. Then sit back and watch the Olympic Sprint to see who can get to the bathroom first!

Now, who needs football for entertainment?!