Habits and Routines Why Do We Always Follow the Same Patterns?
90A very narrow path
I recently saw a very strange thing. The reason that it was strange is because I noticed something that probably nobody else would even think of. But I did, because I am a people watcher. I have always looked at people, their mannerisms, their way of doing little things, whether it is walking in a certain way, or always wearing the same sort of clothes. Why? It is just me, I have always been fascinated by psychology. The way a person thinks, acts and just is. And recently I saw a woman who lived near me, do something odd. She changed her routine. It was a simple thing, all she did was walk across the grass outside my window.
By now you are probably thinking, what on earth was strange about that? Well let me tell you. This particular woman was a person of habit. She was so much a person of habit that I could tell when she went out, what time she came in, and exactly what sort of clothes she would wear. She always walked out of her front door, came around the side of the building, straight onto the path, and followed it until it reached the alley next to my house, where she then turned into it and went about her daily business. On this day, she walked across the grass. Why? A few days before, her husband had died of a massive heart attack while out fishing.
Breaking the bond.
This may sound very strange to you, but to me it made perfect sense. Have you ever noticed how small and narrow your life is? Oh, I don't mean children, or husbands and wives, cars or houses, how much money you have. I mean you. Just you. Think about your day. Ignore the pieces that you have to do, like going to work. This is about your free time. What do you do?
Start from the very beginning. You get up. How do you get up? Do you always place your right foot on the ground first? Put on your glasses? Do you drink the water that is beside your bed, walk straight to the bathroom, clean your teeth first? How do you do it? Think.
Is everything always in the same order? What about the evenings when you watch TV. What comes on first in your world. Is it the news, followed by a drama, or sport?
The Question is why. Why do we do it this way? Try and think of how many habits you use in just one day. Then ask yourself why. Is it just the easiest way to do everything? or is it a comfort zone. Have you subconsciously programmed yourself so that everything falls into place, making your world safe? Do you somehow think that if you break your routine, your world will somehow become unsafe?
We make our own prisons. All the time we are following this unconscious path, we are actually making our minds smaller and narrower. Our comfort zone is becoming smaller and smaller. Do you ever feel panic coming on if for some reason you cannot do your rituals in the same way? From the first second we open our eyes we go into automatic mode. If we are rich or famous, then the path we walk is fantastic. We don't need to change. But what happens when we are not in such a good position. We are stuck, we are closing the prison door, throwing away the key, and never allowing ourselves to show our full potential. Going back to the woman I was talking about. her world had come tumbling down. She was still in shock, and without thinking she walked across the grass. Or was it subconscious? Maybe she thought, what is the point of my habit or routine now? The invisible bond that kept me safe has been broken, so now I need to change it, now I don't care any more.
So many of us walk through life, on a narrow strip of mental control. never stepping outside the box, never changing our ways. I know I feel so much better when I am back inside my house, making tea, sitting in my certain place on the sofa, and watching my favourite programmes. Is that why we are sometimes depressed? Depression comes in all states. The obvious depression when you are just fed up, and of course clinical depression which is a chemical state of mind. But there is another state of depression that we don't even think about. We all want lots of money, cars and fame. But what can we do to change it? So many of us step outside our box sometimes, but always come scurrying back. We have to learn to undo these habits. Starting from the moment we open our eyes. Now we know that we are doing it, we have to use our conscious minds to deliberately move on.
I actually did something very different today. I took myself of to the Cinema, all on my own.
I felt fed up, depressed trapped. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I pushed myself and took myself out. It was outside anything that I would normally do. Especially as I saw couples and families everywhere. But I had a great afternoon.
Positive psychology
Do you suffer panic attacks ? I know I do. But the question is, do I suffer from them because I am scared to change my habits, or is it because I don't? Maybe our mind is telling us to get off our backsides, change ourselves in as many ways as we can, and then maybe our mental health will start to heal and we will feel better and more relaxed. We always presume that if we run back to our comfort zone then we will be safe. maybe we don't realise that actually our minds are screaming at us, change for goodness sake! It doesn't have to be a drastic move. Just comb your hair differently, buy the brighter shirt that you know you like but feel is not right for your. Or maybe walk a different way to work. Or drive, all depending on how far it is. How much do you know about your town? Are there some parts you haven't seen in years? Why? Because You always walk the same path. What you need is a bit of positive psychology.
Don't wait for something horrible to happen, or just inconvenient. Get out of the habit and do something different. Try a small change to start with, and then build it up. The comfort zone is in your head. Make it brighter. Walk across the grass.
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A few Ideas for Changing your Routines and habits.
1. Change your route to work. if you drive, go the other way if it is possible. Not only will this make your day feel different and fresh, it will also make your concentration more alert. most people who have accidents on their way to work do so because they are so used to the route, they drive in mental automatic, therefore if anything unusual happens, i.e. a person crossing the road, a cyclist suddenly veering in front of you, or even an animal suddenly appearing, will make you take longer to react therefore resulting in an accident. Wake up your mind by 'seeing' your roads for the first time.
2. Leave the car a bit further from work or the shops. you might surprise yourself. When was that new housing estate built? I never knew there was a park there. I used to take the kids this way when they were small, I had forgotten how lovely this part of town was.
3. Throw away that old coat that you wear every single day. I know it goes with the shoes, but hey change the shoes!
4. Go to a different resteraunt. You know the one I mean, the place that you think you will not like. You might just love it. this goes for pubs, clubs and any activities.
5. Go on holiday in your town or city. This may sound strange, but when was the last time you took in the sites? Go on the river, in the tourist boat. Ever done that? No? It is fun, I have done it myself. Go and visit your local museums, or art galleries, they have probably changed beyond recognition since you were last there. If you live in a small town, go to the nearest one that you haven't bothered with for years.
6. Stop! Change your make-up, don't keep using the same old colours and lipsticks. Think before you put them on. Same old hairstyle? cut it, or grow it long, all depending on what you have now. Stop wearing black all the time, go for something colourful.
7. Go swimming, I know you can't swim. Learn! Or join a gym. You are never too old. If you don't want to join, just try it for a few days, this might open your mind to doing something that you never knew you liked!
8. Change the TV channels. For one night, just turn on the channels that you never ever watch. No, I don't mean those channels! Art, music, world news, antiques, anything that doesn't involve the usual dramas or soaps. Imagine your TV is broken and these are the only things that you can watch.
9. Go the the Cinema. I know it is easy just to rent a DVD, but go and see it on the big screen. I did, I had forgotten how great it was. You feel like you are in the picture. If you are married go and sit in the back row and make out! lol bet you haven't done that for a while. In the Cinema I mean! Seriously it is a great evening out. Then take in a meal somewhere different. If you go to resteraunts, then just go to a Mcdonalds, or vice versa.
10. Walk everywhere. if this is practical, and you don't live right out in the sticks, go and walk. Forget you have got the car. You will begin to realise that there is a whole world out there that you are missing. Usually you get in the car, don't see anybody until you get to work or the supermarket, and then just jump back in, and go home. You have forgotten that there is a world of flowers with wonderful smells, colour, people laughing, people you haven't seen for years. Kid's playing in the football park, conversations outside houses,and laughter. But most importantly, fresh air and blue sky. Wonderful.
And just one more thing before I go. Hubpages! How many of you are stuck in the same routine of how you read and make comments to your fellow hubber? Do you always read the same people who comment on your Hub? Or do you go to your Account page and scroll down? Why not start at the bottom? There are so many great writers that you miss because when you start at the top, you soon find a Hub that you are interested in, and then read quite a lot more of them, and then it is time to go to bed and you haven't got to the good ones at the bottom. So try going to the bottom of the list and start there.
Also why not put aside a couple of evenings a week just to look for some more great Hubs? There are some fantastic writers out there, instead of just going to the same topics, try one that you would not normally think you were interested in. You might be surprised!
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Totally true - except I can't figure out a different path to my work which is out the bedroom door and down the stairs to my home office. I could jump off the deck but that might really screw up my work day!
All kidding aside, totally true. The older we get, the more locked in we get so it is really important to get a puppy, walk on the wild side, do something outside your comfort zone just to shake yourself up!
Your hub is right on the money!
Nellie, I think we all go through those moments - me at least 3 days out of 7 - but then Griffin just makes me focus on today (and Bob gets his fix from him as well). Sometimes it's hard to get out of the funk and go on but you had a plan, did it and I totally admire that! It's even tougher sometimes when it's just you. I am blessed in more ways than I know how to express because of my little fuzz ball who somehow makes me rethink life every day - that's it - get a malamute! Seriously, it'll all work out for you, I have no doubt. You are such a lovely person it can't help but!
Green Lotus sent me here and I am an instant fan :D
This is a wonderful Hub. Reminded me a lot of a video I have by Leo Buscaglia in which he also recommends doing things differently: roll over your partner in the morning to get out of bed on the other side, and when they ask what the hell are you doing answer "I'm changing my life!"
It is important to look at one's routine and ask why?
Thanks so much for sharing.
And I came to this Hub via De Greek's wonderful one http://hubpages.com/hub/For-Those-Who-Like-to-Read and on Green Lotus's recommendation!
Love and peace
Tony
Well, Nell, I don't know what else to say what hadn't been said before. I only can repeat it and add that you done yourself proud in writing this great hub. Thank you for making me think.
That does it - I'm going to wear pink today!! :)
Such a perceptive hub, Nell. We do tend to stick to our comfort zones and it can be so much fun to step outside once in a while.
The first thing I do in the morning is check my Hub statistics and comments. :-)
I did radically change my daily life five months ago, though. Your article is excellent and gives much to think about. Thank you!
Nell I to am delighted to have come here. I like TonyMac after reading DG's latest hub, totally agree change is necessary and DG gave wonderful advice on how to promote each others hubs. This one is spell binding and so TRUE about how we see ourselves on a daily basis with all the different routines and any deviations from a routine could spell a messed up day. hah...I tend to agree with your methodology and will do my best to make some subtle changes to my daily's. Great Hub I gave it a definite UP rating.
Nell, I soooo needed that advice...you touched so many parts of my life....you make me want to change.
Nell, you are an angel on Earth. I have been feeling so comfortable at home that I hardly ever go out. But I am bored out of my mind! When I do go out, I usually feel a lot better but I can't wait to get home to my comfort zone. Thank you for opening my eyes a bit wider and for the great tips. I think I'll try something new today.
This is a fabulous hub, Nell, and it really does ring so true. We are all so stuck in our own little boxes, that our life almost drifts by without us even noticing it sometimes. I know that I often think about doing different things, but a lot of the time I just never end up getting around to it.
Funny that you should mention sightseeing in your own town/city, though, as I did actually do just that today - for the sole reason that I am making a hub about my city! I wanted some photos of certain key places and haven't been to see them for some years, even though they're only a 20 min walk away! It's just not my usual route....! Actually I really enjoyed it, and it gave me a new zest for my own environment and made me see my city from a tourist's point of view.
I do walk a lot, mainly because I live in a very convenient part of the city which means that often, walking is easier than driving. But I have always remembered a comment by a women from Israel who I met on a train about 8 years ago, when my oldest son was around 2. She said how lovely it was to see my child on the train and not all boxed up in a car. I knew exactly what she meant - stuck in a car you don't meet other people, or interact, or even observe much of life.
Anyway, great writing, thank you :)
Nell Rose, this is filled with great ideas and I'm inspired to do lots of them! I've noticed that the days seem to last much longer this way, too, but in a good way! I'm one of those people who crave change so much that I move my furniture around, learn new skills, explore new neighborhoods and all that sort of thing but you got me on the hair, clothes, makeup thing. Hmm... time for a change there, too! I'm definitely a fan - thank you!
This is true i read this before just in a different form. It's believed if you do these things to stimulate the brain. It also helps with memory. Changing your routine. Stimulates the brain. For memory. I do this often. Taking a different route to work or to store. Getting out of your routine. Is a good thing it makes you have to use your brain. I've never been too much of a creature of habit. Every day is different for me I never know what's going to happen and I like it like that to.
Neil, such a great hub you hit i right on the neil. When one is depressed the first thing they need is some kind of change, in that moment of depression, get going even if to go smile in the mirror. Do something simple, take a shower, change clothes, walk barefoot in the grass. Great hub, go girl go! ~aloha~
akirchner; walk out your front door, go for coffee somewhere, then, go to work. :D ~aloha~
Strange my husband and I were talking of this very thing today! He didn't exactly agree but he seemed to go along..why let life get so boring. Of course some days I have to write myself a note or I know I will forget something. My Dr called this morning said I had appt I was missing and no I did not I had the card and it was in a couple weeks and she said honey that is on Sunday, i said well honey its your card, so I hurried for my appt for what I don't know and showed them the card they agreed was their writing and card! Feels good not being the only nut, lol. Uppers now. Good luck.
Wonderful hub Nell.You are so right, we only have one life and we get accustomed to our own self made ruts that we end up missing out on great new experiences.
I think this is solid advice.. break up the routine!!!
hi, Nell Rose. My routine certainly got distured day before yesterday when my wireless modem quit working. I have another being shipped, but am unable to access the Internet until it arrives. I am at work at present, using my boss's computer to read hubs and comment on them. I actually thought I was going to die because I could not write articles (hubs) or read those of my fans, and realized I have become somewhat obsessed with doing so. Don't get me wrong, I plan to continue with hubpages, but that is an example of a routine, and a rather abrumpt halt to it. LOL. Anyway, Nell, while you're trying new hubbers, hope you won't forget about me. I do enjoy our communication. Thanks for this hub, and for making us think about routines. (: v
A great hub full of wonderful ideas. Thanks for sharing. :)
Yes, we are creatures of habit:0 I have to admit, my routine on hubpages, was to comment on my fans and followeres list. Sometimes I would keep waiting for a new hub, from my followers list...then one day, it dawned on me? Hey that fan, has written 35 hubs, I can go check out what other writings they have already written. Than waiting for a new writing to pop up! That moment of realizaion, was "DUH", why couldn't I see past what I was doing. I had developed my own boxed routine:( Great Hub! Love your picture of the baby:)
Great hub Nell. The subject touches all of us I think. It is soooo true. I also liked how you put the hub together and the pictures too.
Jeeps I wish I had the same schedule! Here at hubs though I do agree, I don't check out enough people although Hub Hopping has helped me start finding a few of interest. If my grandma knew I was hub hopping she would swoon and fall over! lol
Great advice Nell and I try to change things up a bit. My sister and I went to see Shrek in 3D yesterday and thats really not a movie that we would have gone to see but the movie we wanted to see we were too late for. But we had a good time anyway and it was great. And I know what you mean about reading hubs. I go from top to bottom one day and then from bottom to top the next day that way I spread my comments out a little more than usual and get to those hubs that I may miss. Great advice here. Cheers.
Very interesting Hub on habits Nell. I do a lot of leaflet dropping for my business, and it's amazing how once you get off the main road, how many little streets, closes and cul-de-sacs there are. I think that life is a bit like that, sometimes it pays to dive down an unknown side alley, rather than keep on cruising the same old highway,
Nice hub again!
Gosh, I never do the same thing. That makes for a little spice in my life. Lovely hub . Sorry I was too busy to read it sooner.
A bit of a routine can be reassuring as you said but for me, I like new stuff more or I do feel rather BORED. I like trying new foods, new activities... Through habits and other things we do restrict ourselves greatly! Life can lose it's color. You may feel safe but that's it. Even if a food is great, if it's all that you eat, it won't give you the same enjoyment as if you ate it less frequently. Why enjoy just one when you can enjoy hundreds?
It's kind of the same with happiness. Some people have a very narrow description of what happiness looks like to them. To me this merely means they are unlikely to be happy since most situations won't be just as they choose. It's like a scale, say 1 to 100. If you're only happy at number 52 then at all other 99 points you're unhappy. Odds are against you.
Insightful, helpful and provocative. Thank you, Nell.
Funny, three weeks ago I was writing a dear friend and I told him "I sincerely now wonder if I am a very sophisticated robot, just like Data in Star Trek, or a highly mechanized/robotized human being." He did not answer, lol.
Great suggestions on "re-wiring"
I like your outlook on life! This was really good....thanks!
it took me so long to scroll down to the bottom of the screen here that I forgot what routines and habits I am following - but there is one I do remember and that is following your great hubs of varied interest which is a very rewarding pattern to have!
Hi Nell Rose,
It is a splendid effort. A wonderful thought "Walk across the grass" It is great contribution to fellow hubbers.
thanks
nivas ameya
Nell, Interesting hub. You brought this anomaly to words that I could not. Whats better is the fact you included solutions rather than just awareness. I can't seem to get past the chemistry of it with all those silly cell receptors and peptides from my hub on addiction.
Keep hubbing
Scott
Wonderful hub you have here, Nell Rose! First time for me to read yr work. Thanks for sharing this with us. This reminded me to build more helpful habits and throw away the useless, even damaging, ones. It takes just one step! I will try new routes and paths today. A friend in fact shared a music video just this morning of Pauline Wilson's "Follow Your Road" and it just clicked inside my brain: Sometimes we are afraid to take the road God wants us to take because of fear, fear that the success where it is sure to lead us will be paved first with hardships and difficulties. Until the time when we are forced to "follow that road" that will take us to the fulfillment of God's plans for us. In our local culture there is a saying that "even though the way or road is long it always leads to the church for those who will wed her groom/his bride" :-)
Wow this is true. I can definitely relate to following habits and for me it is a comfort zone thing. (Thank you very much for putting up this article I think I will try something new!) : )
Great hub as always Nell. Great advice. Of course- I'll never change!
Nice Hub, Nell and life is only for a moment and what you do on your journey is making memories!
What a great hub. Everyone should read this and ask themselves if they are opening their eyes to the world or going through life with tunnel vision. I'll follow you and look forward to more great hubs.
..that's why you have 5 million followers: you write brilliantly and on very interesting topics which inform and enlighten - and you make your readers think and feel and - come alive!
I enjoyed your hub very much.
I will make sure to read through more of your hubs. Thanks for giving me some good things to think through about the nature of habits!
What an excellent Hub? I am definitely a creature of habit. I am taking your advise and changing up all of my routines. Perhaps it will bring a new light out my life and make me less miserable driving to work. This hub bring new life and hope for those who are looking to change there ways and reflect on different things in life. The most important things in our lives is our family. Perhaps I can change the ways my routines are with them as well. Thanks for this great hub. I learned ways to make helpful improvements in my life.
You know Nell...this is very interesting. For many years I was so precise in my routine to get ready for work..I mean, my day would just be ruined if there was a variation. Now that I'm a writer and have no reason to have the same routine I just feel free. I walk my dogs everything morning but we no longer take the same route. we can explore different trails in teh park and not worry about being late for anything. It is amazing how much it helps to get out of a "rut"! Very well written hub. Rated up for sure!
Great Hub forever! Getting inspirational thoughts from your article... Thanks!
Great ideas for mixing up the daily routine. I selected several to try. #1 Route to work, #6 Make up, and #8 TV channels. I do love the baby picture (in the striped hat). Thanks for the challenge!
Hi Nell,
Great hub. You gave some great advice about changing routines as a hubber. You should probably post your ideas in a forum to remind others that they are in a routine and may not even know it. Thanks for all the great suggestions. Rated up and useful.
When I saw this baby's picture I had to say somthing, awwwwww~ how cute! There, I siad it. :)
Hi Nell, I must agree with susaniang the baby got my attention and I'm glad I did. I think I haven't join Hubpages when this article was written so thank you for sharing your keen observation about people. I do wonder though if the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" applies to me :).I also have to say it....awwww the baby is soooo cute :) Cheers !
Hi Nell,
I too try to be different and radical in many ways. However, I become a laughing stock of others. The society around me forces me to be old fashioned, stereotypical and orthodox. I am scared that by taking radical steps, I become rebellious in front of my narrow-minded society and family.Thanks for sharing some beautiful concepts.
Hi Nell, how right you are. We plod along through life not even noticing how utterly dull we are, (well some are, I should say), because I already practice these theories. My wife and I, (or me and her, as I usually say), were watching Heartbeat the other night and I was appauled by how old fashioned this program was, so i lobbed a hand grenade over and blew the telly up, something that i don't norally do, enraging my wife in the process, because she wanted to watch, Australia's Biggest Loser, instead of sitting next to him.
I also start at the bottom of the list of hubbers i follow, then stay at the bottom, because why should i read their stuff when they don't read mine, just because it's poorly written and doesn't make any sense. Anyway, i've taken your advice and added these sensible comments instead of the usual rubbish I normally reply with. Must dash, Heartbeat is coming on ;) Cheers.
Hi Nell
I have just read your hub and have decided to get dressed NOW and take the dog for a walk! We can all have that cooked breakfast for brunch.
Thanks x
Excellent Hub! You just reminded how much routine plays a part in our lives and how much, I don't want it to. Going to go work on it right now. *smile*
Reading this Hub has reminded me that back in the spring Wonderful Husband and I vowed to try something new every month.
I had completely forgotten! Talk about comfort zones and habits - that's me.
Thanks for the nudge.
This is a great Hub and I have voted it UP.
I so totally agree with this hub. I try to change up my routine every day, even when working at home. Sometimes I put the dog's food out before I take my shower. I walk the dog between 7-10am because as you pointed out, people do the same thing, the same time every day. Meaning I see the same dog walkers at 9am because that's their habit. If I don't feel like that encounter, I go earlier or later. Even driving I may take the long way just for a change.
As you also pointed out, people watch our habits as much as we watch theirs. We shouldn't be so predictable especially at work. As an administrator of a 7/24 facility, I sometimes go into work on off shifts/middle of shifts to change up the habit. Great hub!
A change is as good as a holiday. During the week I follow the same routine - saving time. Maybe afternoons (in my free time) I will break free. Weekends I have no routine... wonderful! Thanks for all the tips, Nell.
PS: Congratulations with your own sub-site.
interesting!
It is good to change your routine now and then. You may be doing something you don't want to, simply because it is habit. But routine is also efficient. You go through your morning chores -breakfast, hygiene, etc, and if you follow the routine, then you can be sure you don't forget anything while you are half asleep. It also keeps things efficient, because you aren't making decisions that will slow you down (should I brush my teeth first, or should I shower first).
Nice explanation. I think this kind of thing can do everyone some good. I've written a hub or two talking about how to _use_ your routines to your advantage (i.e. incorporate something good), which can help you make gradual life changes. But if all you have is routine, then it can get old pretty quick, and you've hit that on the head. Anybody with too much routine should just have a couple of kids. That'll break up the monotony real quick! :)
One more quick thought... this can be SO easy to do with even little things. Try putting your belt on the other direction (that was a doozy for me!) or using your fork with the other hand or shaving with the other hand (careful!).
It is true that most of us are creatures of habit and we tend to follow the same patterns in life. however, it can be very hard to change, and many people are happy with their routines and don't want to change. thanks for the good advice, for those of us brave enough to change our routines.
Nell: What a wonderful, wonderful hub! Why didn't I think of this topic? I agree with you one hundred percent. We are creatures of habit. My experience has been the opposite. I have challenged myself by traveling, living overseas, learning new languages etc. I didn't have my first panick attack until I got married! Strange, I know, but it was a symptom of a bad marriage. My husband was trying to stifle me and isolate me from family and friends. Well, I got rid of him! After an acrimonious divorce my panick attacks subsided, but the damage had been done. In times of great stress, I really have to be diligent to control my panick attacks (medication also helps). But, marrying put me in that box - and I panicked!
Today, I am happily retired and not doing anything I did during my working years. I'm working part time in a dress shop, I sing in a community choir, I enjoy the beach rather than travel overseas. So my life is competely different from my working years. I also have learned to play bridge,and mah jongg. I am writing on Hub Pages. So, I guess I am quite different; I'm happier outside the box than in it.
This is a great hub! Now, you can use your analyzing powers to see why I happier outside the box.

































































Green Lotus Level 6 Commenter 24 months ago
Nell - You have a masterpiece here. I am truly inspired! Thanks for jarring my mindset. It does get boring sometimes, doesn't it? Even the slightest deviations from the routine can be liberating. I also agree, discovering new writers on Hp is a joyful experience. Much thanks..rated up/useful. You must check out De Greeks latest Hub :) :) http://hubpages.com/hub/For-Those-Who-Like-to-Read